Made Me Smile - Dec 09

Thought I'd start a (hopefully regular) monthly blog post of things that made me smile. Not necessarily humour per se, but including anything and everything that also appealed, made some impression, or made me smile when I heard, read or saw it. The idea behind it is that we get more of whatever we put our focus on, according to the Law of Attraction, so I may as well encourage more smiles than frowns, and the feeling that all is well.


This door appealed to me. I passed it on the way to the supermarket and luckily had my camera on me. The feather wreath seemed wonderfully camp and contrasted with the more traditional Xmas wreath doors along the same road. Reminders of the sixties always makes me smile, but it's nice to know that 'love and peace' hasn't gone totally out of fashion.



The following video I stumbled across last night, and thought it was hilarious. With echoes of Monty Python, I was amused that someone took the trouble to actually go out there and state what he thought about society in such a bold and entertaining way.

Aspergers and Communication

The Abraham video 'Never Settle for Sameness' (posted below) seemed to call out to me as a reminder that feels particularly relevant for me right now. Being allowed to express in my own way and meeting my own needs in all circumstances feels vital more than ever in this sensitive phase I'm going through. I'm experiencing weird communication blocks or misunderstandings around me lately, mainly due to expectations, perceptions and interactions with others. It may also have something to do with having Aspergers Syndrome and therefore not being 'wired' the same way as so called 'normal' people or neurotypicals, which although undiagnosed I can totally relate to in describing how I am, and the challenges I often face. I'm reluctant to use any labels and especially Aspergers because there is so much wrong information about it on the internet. If I told a friend and they were to look it up and assume I have no empathy, it would be so opposite of who I am - Miss Intensity- because I feel too much rather than too little. This has nothing to do with loving drama or being too serious, by the way. How I communicate feeling verbally is another matter entirely. I assume that people can know how I feel by reading my mind or my energies. I was initially relieved when I read that 1% of the world population has Aspergers too, but have felt a bit concerned about it ever since that first feeling of relief that I wasn't alone in this. Still, I've said it, and I'm out of the closet at least. And if people think I'm weird or crazy anyway, one more label isn't going to make too much difference to me (or them).



Communication is a theme that is running through my life right now, or the lack of accurate communication from others A good example is Christmas. I told my sister as far back as November that I'm not doing Christmas this year, and didn't even send out any cards. She has just phoned to ask about meeting up with me to bring my Xmas presents over, and I could detect no warmth at all behind her words (just a deadness that didn't feel particularly friendly or close) so I expect the phone call was just an attempt to make me feel guilty for not doing Christmas, which she had ample notice about. For me, it has always been the energies behind the words that communicate the loudest, and I have since birth been able to feel the energies behind language when talking to someone, and assumed everyone else could pick up on that too.



A neighbour recently asked me if I was spending Christmas here alone and invited me to spend Christmas with her and her family. I was really touched by this act of friendship but didn't want her to invite me out of concern for me, as in feeling sorry for me, because I didn't see myself as being unable to cope with the holiday season alone, nor in there being anything wrong with doing that. If she was inviting me because she wanted me to be there, because it would be fun, then that is different. Yet the energies behind the invite felt like one of being rescued from a fate worse than death, so I was initially confused by this. My hesitation was compounded by the fact that I was wondering how her family and the relatives that would also be coming, would feel about my appearance on a day that felt like it was devoted to private family gatherings. Christmas to me has always felt like it was about that, and I suppose I was just wanting to know if the others were ok with me turning up too. Lastly, I was thinking aloud about it being too late in the year to book a trip abroad (something I'd been considering previously) and so thought I was confirming that yes, I would definitely like spend the day with her. I never got around to actually verbalising it though as she was walking away by then, and said she would phone me nearer the time, but looked a bit upset as she dashed off.

I bumped into her a second time before Christmas in the street, and I mentioned that I don't recall having given her a definite answer about Christmas yet. I knew I was not quick enough to respond or seeming appreciative enough of her offer, as various streams of thought had been going through my mind before I could open my mouth with an answer, making me look too hesitant or appearing evasive as if wanting to say no. The opposite was true, and I thought it was a great idea. Even if I'd just joined her briefly for a Xmas drink it would have been great. But she quickly ran off again saying that she would phone me later on, and apologised for not having had the time to call yet. She never did. In fact I could tell by the energies behind her words that she wasn't going to. If she had changed her mind, then that is fine. I just wish people would communicate what they mean and mean what they say. It would have been better not to have invited me at all in the first place than to make such a gesture and not follow through or not communicate that plans had changed. I'm not attached to outcomes but I do appreciate the communication part so I know where I am.

As it got nearer to Christmas day I wasn't sure whether to buy anything to bring over for her and her family as I didn't want to arrive empty handed. It was confusing not knowing what was happening, even though not really surprised that nothing did. I try not to impose or put anyone in a corner by keeping them to what they had said or reminding them, but I haven't a clue half the time what is happening when others don't always bother to communicate. Saying one thing and doing something else is different from not communicating anything at all. (I'm only using these examples by way of illustration rather than creating issues where there are none).

I sometimes don't communicate at all if I feel out of vibrational alignment or emotional balance. I then choose not to take any action, including communication, until I am back in vibrational balance and harmony again. If I don't have a full enough understanding of a situation, where there is a lack of information or the energies don't feel right, or things are not what they initially seemed, then I usually pull out of a situation or shut myself off from those people or circumstances until I get the green light to take any action. I tend to feel my way through life. But I usually take people literally and assume they mean what they say, unless they say differently later.

Verbal communication doesn't seem to mean anything to anyone any more. It has become devalued like our monetary currency, and doesn't buy as much as it used to. The 3D world is becoming more confusing by the day. I don't know the rules any more, if I ever did.

My responses don't seem to always translate well in the neurotypical world , so people tend to want to fill in the gaps with their own interpretations or projections rather than just ask me. Am I really that unapproachable, or is it just laziness? It only bothers me in so far as being misunderstood and not truly known.

There are also my special needs to take into account when it comes to certain social situations. When those needs are ignored or the energies don't feel right for me to proceed, it can feel stressful unless I can be heard and my needs honoured, or else I just shut myself off from others until further notice. A meltdown or outburst can happen when too many energies of others get into the mix and cause an overload on my sensitive neurology, like plugging in too many electrical appliances and then blowing a fuse. Being an energy empath doesn't help reduce the intensity either, and it was usually automatic for others' energies to be carried by me until problems were resolved or the energies transmuted, whether those energies were coming from people I know, my immediate environment or from mass consciousness in general. It is an automatic physiological event first, and when overloaded I short-circuit. Then my emotions follow suit in response to the meltdown or the intensity I'm experiencing in my nervous system. It sometimes takes my body two weeks to get back to a state of balance and homeostasis. I've since researched that it is the hypothalamus that is malfunctioning when it takes this long to recover from any stressor, and is part of chronic fatigue syndrome, which I've had. Sleep patterns are also affected, along with being generally dysfunctional until the body recovers slowly by itself.

I am now consciously and deliberately not taking on any more energies that are not mine. It was automatic before, just like breathing. With the first phase of ascension over, there is no need to transmute dense energies like before, such as the unprocessed fears and anxieties of mass consciousness, as the two worlds are now parting so that function of being a cosmic and planetary energy recycling bin now seems redundant, thank goodness.

I don't know where these labels like Aspergers come into it all, or if I even want to adopt them as being mine, but perhaps being an early Indigo and now (these past few months) realising I also share many symptoms and challenges of Aspergers Syndrome, makes me wonder if we are not sometimes talking about similar phenomena that just have different labels attached to them in the metaphysical/spiritual world and in the psychology/medical world. In the medical 3D world I would be seen as someone with a disability, but the way I see it is that I'm merely wired differently in preparation for a new world that has yet to catch up. Whatever the terminology used or the judgements that follow, I'm certain I don't want psychotherapy to make me 'normal.' It is challenging at times when I can't act in socially appropriate ways, or even know what those ways are, but I do actually have good self-esteem due to many years of inner work in spirituality and metaphysical healing. My social isolation was never about any lack of confidence in myself as a person, but more a consequence of the ascension process, my growing independence and self-sufficiency and my disillusionment with seeking outside of myself for distractions that were becoming less satisfying.


So although I felt reluctant to come out about my Aspergers, my first notion of difference had more to do with being born an early Indigo child with a mission to change the planet and mass consciousness via the ascension process. In fact the ascension process is my main obsession. Although I hate labels I'm less concerned about metaphysical ones than medical sounding ones. The medical and psychology world is not understanding and seeing the bigger picture, and everything that doesn't conform with the majority of the population is treated as needing fixing with medication or psychotherapy. Yet what is happening is that the Earth and humanity are evolving beyond this dimension of consciousness, as well as becoming more multidimensional, and a large percentage of the population need to catch up with an evolving and ascending planet where the old ways and rules no longer work. Medication is not the answer. And as far as ascension goes, there isn't a pill you can pop for that.


Society these days is drowning in labels - autism, AS, ADD, ADHD. I guess if I was being born for the first time now and knew Earth was ascending out of 3D I would prefer to hang out in the other dimensions too. And language is also something we are evolving out of, although probably not for a while yet. These children do seem to be more multidimensional, telepathic, emotional sensitive and wired for the higher dimensions. They also seem to pick up on others' energies or feelings rather than language, and will need their safe space to be themselves, and their OWN particular needs to be met for their sense of wellbeing, which will not look the same as the needs of neurotypicals. When I think of how challenging it felt for me as a child and still often gdoes, and I've been around on Earth for much longer to adapt to 3D earth energies and social adaptation, I can only imagine how it must feel for these hypersensitive children arriving on the planet now and having to endure the old educational system along with a more toxic and over stimulating environment. I was looking around for a few channels or extracts to share about autism and indigo or crystal children. It all feels related, and is a subject relevant to the ascension process in general.

This is a channelled extract from the Q and A about autism byTobias through Geoffrey Hoppe:


AUTISM QUESTION FROM SHAUMBRA 1: Tobias, we were wondering if the large number of children being given the label of “autistic” are Shaumbra who are having trouble adjusting to the New Energies? Our grandson is almost three and has been labeled “autistic.” We have felt since his birth that he was Shaumbra. Any suggestions as to what we could do to help these children hold their own and adjust to the energies that seem overwhelming to them?

TOBIAS: Indeed, so many of the enlightened ones who come in now at this time – who choose you as parents – come in with no base of karma. They come in so open and clear. But yet they are so sensitive, and they are profoundly affected by all of the vibrations around them. They are so sensitive that it throws them out of balance at times, and they cannot hold their focus in this world as a human.

So many of them have chosen you as parents, and guides, and teachers. They know your energy. Your energy, will nurture them, will protect them. They are so open, and they are feeling. But, yet they are having difficulty in adjusting to everything around them. It is important that they feel safe. This will help to ground them more than anything. Talk to them. Talk to them about the safe space that you are creating together with them. Talk to them about grounding themselves in the love of Gaia… Gaia, such a precious, precious spirit in herself, such a nurturing and loving spirit. Have them ground themselves in Gaia. Have them imagine themselves as a tree of life with the roots going firmly into Gaia and the branches opening up to the energies from the heavens. Yes, this combination of grounding and bringing in the divine energy will help with this.

They knew that they chose a difficult role when they came back into this world as opened and clear humans. And, they do need your constant reassurance… oh, especially when they are acting out. They want to know, in a sense, that you will always be there for them no matter what type of feelings they go to. So, yes, indeed this dear one you mention is Shaumbra… Shaumbra, meaning family from home, family who has been together before, who was been on a journey to bring the Divine Human energy to Earth at this time. Shaumbra is not a group that you need to join. It simply means we have been together before, and we walk a common path, and we allow the Spirit to unfold while in human form on Earth.

And here is an extract about Indigo and Crystal children

The Indigo Children have been incarnating on the Earth for the last 100 years. The early Indigos were pioneers and wayshowers. After World War II, a significant number were born, and these are the Indigo adults of today. However, in the 1970s a major wave of Indigos was born, and so we have a whole generation of Indigos who are now in their late twenties and early thirties who are about to take their place as leaders in the world. Indigos continued to born up to about 2000, with increasing abilities and degrees of technological and creative sophistication.

The Crystal Children began to appear on the planet from about 2000, although some date them slightly earlier. These are extremely powerful children, whose main purpose is to take us to the next level in our evolution, and reveal to us our inner power and divinity. They function as a group consciousness rather than as individuals, and they live by the" Law of One" or Unity Consciousness. They are a powerful force for love and peace on the planet.

The Indigo and Crystal Adults are composed of two groups. Firstly, there are those who were born as Indigos and are now making the transition to Crystal. This means they undergo a spiritual and physical transformation that awakens their "Christ" or "Crystal" consciousness and links them with the Crystal children as part of the evolutionary wave of change.

The second group is those who were born without these qualities, but have aquired or are in the process of aquiring them through their own hard work and the diligent following of a spiritual path. Yes, this means that all of us have the potential to be part of the emerging group of "human angels".

The Nature of Multi-Dimensionality

Until fairly recently, all humans born on Earth were born as Third Dimensional beings. This means that they were fully in the material plane or realm, and their consciousness was "locked" into the Third Dimension. They functioned on the first three chakras, the material, the emotional and the mental. Where there was spirituality, it was usually seen as something outside or other than normal every day functioning.

The Indigo children arrived with the key to multi-dimensionality. They were born into Third Dimensional bodies, but their consciousness was effectively in the Fourth Dimension and capable of moving into the Fifth. When this "wave" of Indigo consciousness arrived on the planet in the early 1970s, the way was opened for all humans and the planet itself to shift into the Fourth Dimension. At the Fourth Dimensional level of Consciousness, humans become aware of the Universal Law of One, otherwise known as "Unity Consciousness". This Law states that we are all One, we are all connected and that whatever affects one of us affects all of us. Indigo children carry this awareness in their consciousness, and it leads them to be warriors for many causes that will heal the Earth and stop humans from destroying and polluting their environment and harming other humans.

The Law of One also fosters the understanding in Indigo beings that we are all equal, and that no one is greater than any other. This group consciousness and group awareness is the path to the future for humans. We will learn to function co-operatively and for the good of all if we are to create the New Earth that we desire. Indigos respect the talents and abilities of each individual, but these talents do not make any one greater than anyone else. The play of ego and self-importance has no real place in the life of an Indigo.

For those parents raising autistic children, it is worth checking out Suzy Miller at http://bluestarbrilliance.com and her book Awesomism! (which I haven't read yet). She seems to be very clued in on what is going on with autism and is able to view what is going on with them multidimensionally.



Free Teleclass - Mp3 download - Autism to Awesomism





Other resources on Autism

The Autistic Revolution : Children In the Time of Awakening

As Abraham addresses several questions about autism from parents and a behavioral scientist, Source reveals the surprising role that autistic children play at this unique time in Earth history. This presentation includes material from two different Law of Attraction workshops which occurred about six weeks apart in 2008. Total Running Time: 78 Minutes CD ($15.00) DVD ($19.95)

Now the whole point of this post was to put up a video called 'Never Settle for Sameness' by Abraham channelled through Esther Hicks, so I've digressed a bit. For those who cannot watch the video because of a slow internet connection I'll put a few quotes from it below.




You live in a world that has almost gone mad with the idea of sameness.

You live in a Universe that's based on diversity, based upon difference. It's an expanding Universe not a shrinking Universe.

If we were in your shoes we would be taking pride in our renegade nature of difference, and we would try never again to conform.

And we would would reach this powerful place where we never again try to modify our behaviour based on appealing to someone elses impression of how we should behave.

We would say to anyone willing to listen "I love you but I do not give a rip what you want me to do, I'm following my own guidance system."

"Now I'm aware of my guidance system I can tell which is the right way for me to go, so you can all out there in the peanut gallery beat your drum, make your laws, make every decision in the world about who you think I should be, but I am finally being the me I came to be, I'm following my own bliss."

Not one of you intended to be suppressed. You all intended to find your path and let your light shine in your unique way. And as you compare yourself with each other you lose track of what way IS your way.

But as you listen to the way you feel, as you listen to your gut, then you can tell what way is your way.
And we have never known anyone who was ever happy doing something that somebody else wanted them to do.

If you are not satisfying your own dreams, you are on the wrong track. You must follow your dream. You cannot be a cog in the wheel of somebody elses dream.

The Universe will support you.
Find your dream.
And follow it.
And tell everyone else to buzz off.

Christmas message - Let Your Unique Light Shine

Today is Christmas Day and it no longer feels appropriate or desirable for me personally to feed the Christmas archetype any longer. I had tried this before in previous years, which had mixed results with my family when they were alive, but I truly wanted to start 2010 anew with being who I truly am rather than attempting to fit in to a structure, calendar or tradition that feels part of the old energy world. You see, we all carry the Christ light within, regardless of religion, and the awakening, anchoring and expression of that light , our unique reflection of divinity, is to me what Christmas, and every day of the year, is really about. We can still celebrate the magic, the abundance, the love, the connections with our kin or spiritual family, the birthing of the light on Earth and anything else that this holiday season represents. My main discomfort with the way this season is normally celebrated is the way it has come to be expressed along with the energies behind it, like feeding a huge thought form or archetypal energy that has grown throughout time to feed mass consciousness with the energies of distortion and is not something I wish to carry any longer into the new. Each one must decide what is desired or relevant for them, and I am in no way saying that there are any 'shoulds' regarding how one celebrates this season. I am just saying I have personally had enough with this tradition seen in the way it is and am letting it go, for good.

Ascension has always, for me at least, felt like being true and authentic to myself and following my own guidance regarding what is best for me, even if it means going against the tide of 'what is' for others. The birthing of the Christ light consciousness on Earth was indeed an important event over 2000 years ago, but what is happening on Earth now is a continuation of that work, and we are all involved in awakening to our own divinity and changing mass consciousness as a result of the changes within our own consciousness. We are anchoring more light and creating more new energy on the Earth every day, and I think it is time that we celebrate ourselves for the work we are doing. It feels way past seeing our teachers or gurus as being outside of ourselves, or putting any one historical figure on a pedestal, and there have been many who have contributed in the past in raising the light or higher consciousness on the planet, from which have sprung forth many different religions.

But for a lot of people Christmas is not even about religion or the birthing of more light or Christ consciousness on the planet. Whatever it represents for you, let it be celebrated consciously rather than blindly out of habit or because it is the way it has always been done or is expected of you.

If you want to read a good Christmas channeling then I would recommend The Lost Children of Christ by Geoffrey Hoppe and Jesus/Jeshua by Pamela Kribbe.

Update 14 Sept 2011 - I have deleted the extracts from the above two channels that were printed below because today I received an email from blogger to inform me that:

"Blogger has been notified, according to the terms of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA), that certain content in your blog is alleged to infringe upon the copyrights of others."

I am not sure if this includes the links as well, or the fact that I had printed some of it out for the benefit of those who were needing to use the online translator on my blog. I could also not find the complaint itself on the database website I was given by blogger where the nature of the complaint by the sender is supposedly recorded. If they want me to take down the links as well I would be happy to oblige, but I am somewhat mystified as nobody had contacted me directly on this old post of mine from nearly two years ago.

Considering that the channels in question are freely available on the websites I had linked to, where they can be read in full, I am uncertain as to how I can have infringed any copyright laws as I am

a) not claiming the work as my own

b) not selling it

c) not altering it

c) crediting the authors name and linking to their full channel / website.

As the purpose of my whole blog is to help direct readers to worthy channels and reading material and websites on the subject of ascension and the new consciousness, it kind of throws into question whether this whole exercise of networking and blogging is going to be worthwhile if those sites and channelers I thought I was promoting are going to file complaints to blogger with the possibility of having my account suspended. A comment below any 'offending' post would have been the courteous way of going about it, especially as I'm still not clear what anyone was upset about in order to want to file an official complaint against me and this blog in the first place.

This is the first time this has happened here, and I know there are many other blogs out there doing similar things, ie. getting the ascension info out and including extracts or whole channels that are not subject to any charge, but are freely available on the internet anyway. If anyone with similar blogs on this topic has or is currently experiencing this, I would interested to hear.

Meanwhile, I am not sure how or if I will continue with this blog. I am not getting paid for blogging, and don't have a paypal donation box on my blog either. It has been a labour of love, and I have enjoyed sharing the best that I felt the web had to offer on this subject, so that newcomers would not have to become bogged down with all the fluff and rubbish that is out there, as well as providing non-English speakers an opportunity to access this material via the online translation tool in the side-bar.

In fact this blog was mainly set up for non-English speakers as well as to provide a record of this moment in time, this time of transition, and what helped me through it on my own journey of ascension. Whether I have reached the end of the road as far as this blog is concerned, I have yet to decide.

Online events Dec to Jan 2010

Saturday December 19th 2009

Story begins his monthly live internet broadcasts which will run on the third Saturday of every month on December 19th. These will be at UK time 7pm, EST 2pm, PST 11am and will run for around 90 minutes each with a short break in the middle. These broadcasts can be subscribed to through becoming a full member the Evolving Truth Subscription Circle. All listeners will also receive an mp3 of the broadcast.
Or book for just the broadcast with mp3 for $20/£11/€14



Story Waters Monthly Internet Broadcast

First monthly broadcast !

7pm UK, EST 2pm, PST 11am

Saturday December 19th 2009

Virtual Light Broadcast with Steve Rother channeling 'The Group'
11:am US Pacific Time

An Internet TV Broadcast Free on the internet.

Tuesday December 29th 2009

Interview & Live Channeling with the Pleiadian Collective from Wendy Kennedy

6.00pm to 8.00pm Pacific Time (UTC/GMT-8)
Streaming Audio: www.journeyswithrebecca.com

Included in the evenings topics will be:

• 2010: The Year of Manifestation
• Claiming your power as a creator being
• Reinvigoration of the light body
• Tuning into the higher realms
  

This is a live show, and if you are listening via streaming audio, you can send any questions you have for the Pleiadians via the real time web chat on the site.

Thursday December 31st 2009

New Year's Eve with Adamus! Evergreen, Colorado December 31, 2009 Presented by Geoffrey and Linda Hoppe

Attend in person or via Internet webcast

The webcast link will be sent to you on Wednesday, Dec 30, 2009, via e-mail.

Join us online for the audio product and webcast: $25 usd

Monday January 4th 2010 - PREDICTIONS WEEK

on MasterWorks Healing radio show

4pm Pacific Time (midnight GMT - UK)

Tune in as Adamus participates in a “Week of Predictions” on Masterworks Healing radio show. He will be interviewed by Jennifer McLean at 5:00 PM (Denver time) on Monday, January 4th. Listeners may call in with questions if desired. You will be able to listen live for FREE the night of the call and listen to a recording of the calls for the following 48 hours (after which only members can listen or download the show).

Saturday January 16th 2010

Story Waters Monthly Internet Broadcast 7pm UK (see Dec 19th for link)

Saturday January 16th 2010

Crimson Circle Angels
First Live Webcast !
A Subscriber program for Supporting the Crimson Circle
The first Crimson Circle Angel webcast with Adamus Saint-Germain.

The webcast will begin at 1:00 PM to 3pm (MST) on Saturday, January 16th and will last no more than two hours. (GMT 8pm to 11pm -UK)

NOTE: The date has changed from 12/19/09 to 1/16/10

All CC Angels will receive a login link the day before the webcast so you can tune in live.

All CC Angels will also receive a free audio download within a few days after the event. Please note that this recording will not be released to the general public, it is a special treat for Crimson Circle Angel Subscribers only; our appreciation for your support.

To support the Crimson Circle and become a subscriber click here.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Mystic Reality Radio Show
Live Interview with the Pleaidian Collective

Listen in as the 9th Dimensional Pleiadian Collective chat with hosts Edey Caldwell and Julie Belmont.

Topics for the evening include:

2010: The Year of Manifestation
Regeneration of the body
The importance of being heart centered in an intellectual world

Wednesday, January 27, 2010
8:00pm - 9:00pm Pacific (UTC-8)
streaming audio: www.SpiritQuestRadio.com

Setting Your Vibrational Tone

Having felt quite low since returning home from Stroud, I can see how I've not paid much attention to my vibration but have let 'what is' plus some lack of hope pervade and shape my 'reality' or now moment. In spite of reading every Abraham book on the Law of Attraction and listened to probably every Youtube video by Esther Hicks, I'm still amazed at how easy it is at times to forget everything I know about creating my own reality.......... the one I want that is.

Giving the reasons for this downward spiral in my emotions, however justified it may all feel, will not help get me out of it. I stupidly even put in an offer on a house before working on my vibrational alignment first. I recall being in an upset state when I walked into the estate agents to make my offer, which I felt at the time was more than the house was worth to me, so it felt a bit of a blow when it was refused. The house was the only one I had seen so far. I now feel like making no more house offers until January, and only after I have viewed a few more properties. I feel lukewarm about this house now, and need to be a lot more excited than this to motivate me to pay more, even if it's only a little bit more. I'm trying to get into the Vortex, the term used by Abraham to achieve vibrational alignment and joy, before phoning the estate agents, who keep ringing me for a decision. Being still undecided means I should take no action or decision yet. When in the Vortex any action I take will be inspired action and more in line with what I want. Our vibrational tone attracts to us the reality we want to manifest, and no amount of action can compensate for being out of vibrational alignment.

So today I have been listening to inspiring Abraham videos in order to find that place of hope and optimism within me, and this is something I shall be focusing on for as long as it takes to get back to that inner state where the magic really starts happening. Knowing the theory in our heads is not enough, only applying what we know in practical terms every day will yield results. I know from experience that when I have done this before and got in the Vortex, against all odds, I have perceived everything differently, and even problems and challenges from before were no longer of concern to me. Feeling good is it's own reward, and more important than manifesting stuff, whether that be the house, the relationship, the money, the business success or anything else that we think we need. Yes, those dreams line up for us and are available once in the Vortex, but we only wanted those material manifestations in order to feel good, because we believed that attaining them would help us to feel better. Once feeling better, they become almost redundant, but we are in a better position to really enjoy them now because we are no longer in a state of disallowing our well-being through resistant (negative, opposite) thoughts and feelings.

Looking for a home in the Cotswolds

STROUD, GLOUCESTERSHIRE

Just returned from 5 days of walking in the rain in the Cotswolds, looking for a home to buy. One particular house had called to me from the internet and I decided at the last minute to at least explore the area regardless of having only one house to view so far. Never having been to Gloucestershire before, it was fun seeing a whole new county. My holidays have usually taken me abroad to far flung places or exotic locations, so I am ignorant of much that exists in my own country and even in Europe. The last couple of years have seen me travelling closer to home, mainly to find a place to re-locate to, and for much of that time I thought it was going to be in France. Still, I have a France blog to show for it, even if I don't yet have the house. The fact that I feel like I've been searching for the right location for so long is making me a bit unsettled and even emotionally wobbly at times, but I'm generally positive that I won't feel rootless for too much longer. My current projects feel meaningless to me and I've now put much of everything on hold because the change of location feels like it needs to come before everything else. One particular project cannot begin until I obtain a larger home anyway, and my heart is not really in anything else until I can at least get Chapter Two of my life up and running.

Although happy for most of the years I've been living in my London flat, and blessed with having the river and two beautiful parks on my doorstep, this place represents my old life, and most of me is already living in the new energies. It is as if this one last thing has to catch up with the rest of me, and I know that I can finally complete any healing that I need to do once I have the symbolic new start in a new place, preferably surrounded by the rolling green hills of the countryside and forest walks nearby. I also now realise, from what Karen Bishop said earlier, that for many of us our new lives were put on hold for about two years when it was collectively decided by us on other levels that the forerunners of the ascension process would stall moving forward into their higher vibrational or higher dimensional new lives because not enough of humanity had awakened and we needed as many as possible on board to obtain critical mass. Like Karen, and like many others, I also wondered why it was appearing to be so difficult to move my life forward to live my dream, but which somehow eluded me despite all activities in that direction, because I was needed to stay at the dimensional border for a while longer. And how awful that felt too, along with doubts about my own creator abilities with my seeming failure to move on to what I wanted and needed, and not knowing why at the time. Talking to other kin on the ascension path, I saw recently how they too had become as frustrated as me with all these delays, and that as soon as the two worlds finally began to separate in September (which I felt in a shift of the energies in my body, giving me some relief and freedom) and we were no longer delayed in our tracks, many of us now feel like a horse at the races after the pistol shot had been given. We just wanted to race ahead and make up for lost time. As a result, I currently find it hard to focus on anything that is not part of my new life (whether actually manifested and grounded yet or not), and I seem to have a very low tolerance level for the old energy ways of doing things, which feels almost painful to my sensitive nervous system, like hearing nails being scraped on a chalkboard.

So with that context in mind, this short trip was to at least start the ball rolling before Christmas got in the way, as I was feeling a sense of urgency and frustration with not having completed the move two years ago as originally planned. This forward movement would at least get the energies moving again regardless of whether I was to find the ideal house on this short trip. So I based myself in Stroud in Gloucestershire as it at least had a train station and I can't drive (yet). I had the option of taking either buses or taxis to any of the outlying villages, and had decided to avoid the more expensive places to live such as the popular and prettier 'chocolate box' villages that were outside of my budget anyway, at least for now. As it turned out, I really liked Stroud itself and only took one bus journey to a village 4 miles away called Nailsworth, where I had previously seen an interesting property on the internet, but which the agents didn't seem that enthusiastic to promote, being reluctant to provide me with photos of the interior or to arrange a definite viewing. A curt email from me about the attitude of estate agents, and do they actually want to sell any houses, and why doesn't someone get off their butt and take a few more photos, had brought a phone call from the manager that evening demanding an apology from me as I had upset one of his staff. OK it had not been personal, just frustrating for me and aimed at estate agents in general, as I couldn't understand the brush-off when an enquiry that could have turned into a sale had been responded to with just a "sorry we don't have any more photos". So, we just forget the whole thing do we? There was no offer to help beyond that reply, which didn't help me at all. I never viewed it, even though I visited the agents in Nailsworth. Forgot all about it by then actually, and was past caring. My bluntness in general is brought about by shock at bad treatment or customer service, and speaking my truth without putting it through all the social filters - I can't seem to help myself being too 'real' these days and speaking my mind, despite knowing what the rules were in the old energy world. Something within me reacts to energies that are either out of balance or not pure in their authenticity or integrity, and I end up sending those energies back rather than playing along with them or making them my own. I still don't understand what is going on with me in that respect, and hope I'm not just going a bit crazy.

Perhaps all will become clear a few months down the line as is so often the case. On a positive note, the genuine and helpful interactions tend to be more authentic, fulfilling, enriching and wonderful, rather than just surface politeness between people.

STROUD HIGH STREET

So the one house I viewed in Stroud was one I could imagine living in, and the views from the top of the hill were fantastic. I put in an offer, which was only 5,000 pounds less than the asking price. Being a cash buyer I didn't see anything wrong with such a discount and didn't feel the house was worth more, especially as it had no central heating plus the seller had not even started looking at houses yet, so it could easily have taken months between any offer being accepted and him finding somewhere to live. Being delayed from moving and being stuck for months in a chain is not something I want to do, and meanwhile I am paying rent on my flat here, so each month that goes by is costing me money which is eroding more of the capital. He hadn't started looking yet because he wanted the definite sale first, but was obviously going to be dragging his feet over it (as I sensed reading the energies) and not really wanting to go into rental accommodation if he wasn't ready to move yet. So the house could end up being much more expensive for me than my already generous offer.

When the agent phoned me next day, while I was walking in the rain, I felt upset over how it was all handled. I was told that although the vendor 'appreciated' my offer he was needing a little more. When I asked how much more, the agent didn't give me an exact figure, so obviously wanted me to play at guessing games. Normal practice I know, but I had no patience for it. I had wanted to offer even less originally, but didn't want to insult the vendor. Instead, I ended up feeling insulted. The agent seemed a bit taken aback when I said I'd wait until I got back to London before deciding whether to offer more. He had obviously got used to how this whole game is normally played, and seemed unprepared for my response not to play along.

I had the feeling the vendor would muck me around, and I was feeling too vulnerable for that.
I explained to the agent that as a cash buyer I didn't have to arrange mortgage finance that could go wrong, plus I had no property to sell first so was chain free. The agent was unimpressed and said that given their age this would probably be their last move. What's that got to do with it? I thought to myself. It could be MY last move for all I know. So what am I, a charity for the elderly?

When I got home to London I looked up sold house prices for that road on the internet, and even during the housing boom in 2007 when property prices were at their highest peak, most of the houses there didn't sell for anywhere near the price I was offering, so during a so-called 'recession' (which is more severe than just a recession) my offer of 30,000 more than the going rate at it's peak was not ungenerous in my eyes. Still, I wasn't willing to play mindgames and told the agent I was in no mood to enter a merry dance about prices. So that's how it got left. It felt like a bad omen, and I always know when I'm on my right path when everything goes smoothly and doors are flung open as I approach, rather than shut in my face. If it starts to feel like a struggle, then in the new energies it means you are either not doing it right or there is a better opportunity around the next corner. Houses on hills with views in the Cotswolds are not uncommon, and now I'm thinking I would perhaps prefer a stone cottage (instead of brick) even if it means I have to sacrifice an extra bedroom to afford it. I just love stone buildings, and there is something very exciting about a town or village made primarily of stone. Which is why I also loved Stroud as there was no shortage of stone buildings there.

ANTIQUES/COLLECTABLES SHOP


CENTRE FOR SCIENCE AND ART, STROUD

The other reasons I liked Stroud was the fact there were enough shops for someone like me without a car, but enough interesting places and villages to drive to once I get my driving license (or buy a bicycle). Stroud was surrounded by beautiful countryside, so even though a small town rather than a village, I still felt I could breathe as there was open countryside all around within walking distance. I just cannot be hemmed in by a big city or densely populated area any more, so all cities are therefore not on my shortlist. The train took just 1 hour 30 minutes from London, so it would be easy to get to London should I ever need a major shopping expedition or to get to a London airport.

STREET ART

PICTURE FRAMERS SHOP IN CANAL

I tend to 'feel' my way through life, as the energies speak to me as much, if not more, than anything else, and Stroud felt good. The people were also very friendly, and I felt I could just be myself here and feel accepted as part of the local community, and feel at home. I'll just have to be careful not to alienate too many estate agents in the process of getting here. According to some locals I spoke to, Stroud has more arts and crafts people living there than in St. Ives and other places where artists congregate and live. That may have been what I was sensing about it, and why the town felt comfortable to me as a place to live. As some of the villages had very limited bus services, I decided to stay mainly in Stroud and do a few walks. Not far from Stroud is Slad valley where the book 'Cider with Rosie' by Laurie Lee was based. I just loved that book and the whole idea of living in 'Cider with Rosie country'. I fell in love with the countryside after reading that book, it portrayed a whole different world, and I couldn't believe I was actually here now looking for a house and maybe living it for real. And some of the outlying villages still do have only one or two buses per day.

XMAS CAROLS IN MUSEUM IN THE PARK

One of my walks took me to the museum in the park. I had arrived in Stroud at the right time as the first Friday in December is called goodwill weekend, where everyone dresses up and the shops stay open until 9pm. The Xmas street lights were also switched on then, and the museum staff were all dressed up in Victorian costume.
After looking around the museum I stayed for the Xmas carol concert that was being held in reception, if only to rest my weary feet. I got into conversation with a man who sat down at my table while his wife was wandering around the museum, and when she joined us we talked about the Cotswolds and good places to visit. They lived in one of the neighboring villages, and he was interested to learn that I made jewellery and wanted my business card. As I'm not promoting my craft businesses until I move home (as I also intend to make some changes as well as have my new address on the cards) I as usual, had no card to give out. It amazes me that as soon as I lose interest in what I'm doing, everyone else suddenly becomes interested. There must be a lesson in there somewhere - perhaps not being attached to making sales? My style of business promotion seems to be no promotion at all. I just hope that when I move home I'll have the same outside interest in my work as I'm getting now, when not only am I not doing it but not even really wanting to talk about it while I'm living in London.

STRATFORD PARK, STROUD

STRATFORD PARK WOODLAND

The search for an affordable stone cottage in or near Stroud will continue in January, once Xmas is over with and more properties will be put up for sale by then, according to the estate agents. At least now I'm familiar with the area and know where I'll be basing my house search, which I hope next time will not involve many days walking in the rain and getting constantly lost. If I like an area after seeing it at its worst in winter, it's a good sign and can only get better.